long time no post
Jul. 7th, 2023 03:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlrockit's been a million years since i touched this blog so i thought i'd attempt a quick update post...
life
real life has been a bit of a slog and a lot of bad and good and generally mundane things of no significant value have happened to me and in short my health continues to be an entertaining rollercoaster of neverending struggle... but since i don't really like talking specifics here i'll spare everyone. i think altogether i haven't really had the energy to consume or create things consistently, and i also spend too much time on tumblr/my sports dreamwidth spouting random bs so i never know what to say anymore. but i am trying to find equilibrium these days and feel less overwhelmed by the looming threat of unstructured hobbyism! constant cataloguing and enforcement of minute routinization are mildly bad for my mental health but i also sort of need them to function... lel
i'm also still (newjeans voice) supershy and bad at talking to new people or just talking about things i care about to basically anyone without feeling burdensome and awkward and ultimate girlautist. but adulting is adulting is adulting and we are doing what we can atp
movies/tv
jesus christ i checked my letterboxd diary and i didn't even realize that i hadn't logged a single movie during april and may... anyway i watched atsv 3 times in june and each viewing was increasingly the highlight of my month, both because it really just gets better the more you watch it but also because a) they fixed the sound balance issue from gwen's intro between my first and second watch lol and b) i incrementally upgraded my room quality with each viewing... this movie 100% deserves to be seen in some variation of dolby/imax/whatever with reclining chairs instead of at the back of a decrepit old theater with 20 seats where the projector doesn't even work half the time and you're given a readmit voucher after it craps out a third of the way through your showing of gotg 3 π i did end up recycling it on past lives though so that was nice <3
planning to watch joy ride + asteroid city + probably elemental just for the sake of it as soon as i can... and obviously barbenheimer etc. but i have to say that i'm actually quite anticipating problemista because i may be somewhat of a julio girlie. also re: rwrb trailer why am i constantly boggled by the trajectory of nick galitzine's generic hollywood career he's literally like if you injected justice smith's teen romcom range onto tom holland's situationally unaware british ass..... good 4 ha tho. the trailer looks exactly as expected and although i'm very much like not attached to this book anymore i will still be watching because why not!
also been lagging behind with tv, but highlights of this year so far have been:
β the bear s2 (β β β β Β½)
β jury duty (β β β β )
β the other two s1 & s2 (β β β β )
β abbott elementary s2 (β β β β )
i'm STILL like 2 episodes off the yellowjackets s2 finale because i keep saying i'll finish it and then simply don't. need to catch up with silo and lucky hank and the makanai and finish off trigun stampede, which i was watching at tori's behest but i am actually very much a wolfwood enjoyer so i should get back to that. i'm trying to GetTM i think you should leave and i mean i mostly do but it's also not the pinnacle of comedy that so many on twitter purport it to be... moving on ted lasso finale was simply abysmal but at least it wasn't as bad as xo kitty, which i watched the entirety of with my mom for some reason. jenny han really out there.....
i badly want a tv show to change my life in 2023 but i'm not feeling too optimistic about that π© i just don't have the attention span or commitment level for anything good anymore. legit watched 3 episodes of suits out of nowhere because of the netflix algorithm preying on my preexisting curiosity from having read several suits fics in my youth and literally a) MEGHAN MARKLE? b) ok maybe mike and harvey were kind of gay c) what the fuck was this show even doing for 9 whole seasons..........
music/k-pop
ok first of all WHAT WAS HE COOKING!!!
anyway moving on. the most distressing part of my chronic depressive funk is that my music listening habits have greatly suffered for it, and like very much on a scale previously unseen for me... i think also listening to too many hockey podcasts has disrupted my flow for new music consumption but alas... trying to course correct during the off-season but as i write this i'm just replaying super shy over and over again so maybe my ears are officially broken.
speaking of newjeans i love their sound way too much it's not even funny, like literally how does one even exist being this consistently rympilled but also i can't help it lmfaooo. new jeans mv animation execution = GAGGED. ppg album design packaging = GAGGED. erika de casier dnb production = GAGGED. they are in fact severely daughtering! i've been super out of k-pop and i don't really think that'll change much right now but i'm half-tempted to buy a physical copy or two of their upcoming album because it's just firing on all cylinders for me rn. i also kind of accidentally fell into watching runext and i don't know how invested i'll actually be in it since i haven't watched a survival show in a million years but i'm mildly charmed by a few of the trainees so i'll try to tune in. by mildly charmed i mean that i unintentionally discovered chanelle moon severe dykeface and was like girl u live like this? and then the first episode was promoted to me live on youtube while i had insomnia and i enjoyed me a bit of bad boy jeongeun so i guess i might follow some of the performances going forward.
hopefully i will do a better job of listening to 2023 releases soon... just need to commit to a bit of spotify reorganization x__x
books
i read so many terrible hockey romance books earlier this year it just pissed me off but i'm pretty sure i finally got it out of my system. it was definitely looking rough there for a second though.......
anyway i dabbled in a bit of mary h.k. choi with yolk and i really don't think i'd like a single one of her other books but this was not bad. read alison cochrun kiss her once for me in like one hour flat at the airport and it irked me immensely lmfao i think romcom-y new adult lesbian fiction is simply not for me. i'm trying to get through you exist too much and our wives under the sea now and neither of them is particularly long so that should be done with soon, i quite like the writing style for both and i'm also mildly relieved to be reading stuff that isn't ehmmm unexpected check please fanfiction LOL.
also i finally read the whole beartown trilogy and π΅βπ« even though his prose is fairly simple and repetitive he's a very effective writer and i simply hate being the most predictable person alive, AKA how dare fredrik backman craft benji ovich in my general vicinity like it's nothing. i am so woefully susceptible to this exact character archetype of reflexively sacrificial repressed gay loner with self-destructive judgment and shitty taste what am i even meant to DO. lichrally top 5 character of the life... UGHHHHH.
basically got overwhelmed by how many books i plan on reading so this is the general lay of the land going forward lolol. i keep hitting my incredibly low yearly goal in 5-book increments so now i've bumped it up to 15... but i think that unofficially i'd like to get to 20 if possible.
~making stuff~
the reality is that i really just don't do anything anymore which is kind of because of Real Life but also because i'm... bad at things and i've made peace with that and don't (actionably) care about it anymore? maybe that's too defeatist of me but i don't even know. i would like to have a bit of a drawing phase again because the idea of doing art in the summer is always nice but i worry that the likelihood of that happening is pretty low. alas... i'm just an empty slate of constant overwhelming brain fog!
really though i'm basically like π΅βπ« just trying to get through life, which means i seriously don't know what's happening on the internet anymore..... maybe that's what summer is meant for (not knowing what da hell is going on), but i just feel very tired and slow all the time t__t i worry that following fandom in any capacity is exhausting to me right now but i'll probably be fine come fall so i guess we'll see.
in like... may? i wrote a silly little 6k hockey fic for my team's Beloved Rook, which i later privated because i was like Well this is dumb as hell and very stupid and bad, but then i unprivated it because it all felt needlessly dramatic lol. i mean it still is all of those things but also who cares! an exercise in rookie protagisms and earnestly nerd-coded team dynamix can still be fulfilling at the end of the day, and i had fun balancing tydel as a ~romantic interest~ in the context of wj53's Hot Girl Rookie Postseason Spring. does it make any sense??? no but it's fine.
some highlights......... anyway i'm just like arghhh because i want to finish one more fic and then be done with writing for a long long time, but i've been stuck on this same document for an ungodly amount of time that it kind of feels like there's no point in writing it anymore. i really don't know what i'm doing... i feel like the more κΈνν moments i have the less motivated i am to finish this, but then i'm also continuously like JUST DO IT GIRLLLL. the problem is that i have already written ONE horrible hughes sibling fic and i really do not have to keep inventing interiority in these men where there is none. what on earth is she cooking... TT
it'll be fine but hopefully i can whip this doc into shape soon just so i can be free of my own demons ;__;
games
ok let me end this post here but also i am finally playing pokemon scarlet again after 6 months of forgetting any game at all exists!!! LOL.
bewuvΓ©d team... girlest of this world..... et cetera. (looks at tinkaton) it's all going to be ok
also been playing it takes two intermittently with my sister for a veryyyy long time but i think we're actually almost done with this game now, as in i'm pretty sure we're on the before-last world so π€ PROGRESS.
dw user girlrock out T__T happy 7/7 to everyone wherever you are and hope you're holding up well. sending all my love and wishing for only the best of health π
life
real life has been a bit of a slog and a lot of bad and good and generally mundane things of no significant value have happened to me and in short my health continues to be an entertaining rollercoaster of neverending struggle... but since i don't really like talking specifics here i'll spare everyone. i think altogether i haven't really had the energy to consume or create things consistently, and i also spend too much time on tumblr/my sports dreamwidth spouting random bs so i never know what to say anymore. but i am trying to find equilibrium these days and feel less overwhelmed by the looming threat of unstructured hobbyism! constant cataloguing and enforcement of minute routinization are mildly bad for my mental health but i also sort of need them to function... lel
i'm also still (newjeans voice) supershy and bad at talking to new people or just talking about things i care about to basically anyone without feeling burdensome and awkward and ultimate girlautist. but adulting is adulting is adulting and we are doing what we can atp
movies/tv
jesus christ i checked my letterboxd diary and i didn't even realize that i hadn't logged a single movie during april and may... anyway i watched atsv 3 times in june and each viewing was increasingly the highlight of my month, both because it really just gets better the more you watch it but also because a) they fixed the sound balance issue from gwen's intro between my first and second watch lol and b) i incrementally upgraded my room quality with each viewing... this movie 100% deserves to be seen in some variation of dolby/imax/whatever with reclining chairs instead of at the back of a decrepit old theater with 20 seats where the projector doesn't even work half the time and you're given a readmit voucher after it craps out a third of the way through your showing of gotg 3 π i did end up recycling it on past lives though so that was nice <3
planning to watch joy ride + asteroid city + probably elemental just for the sake of it as soon as i can... and obviously barbenheimer etc. but i have to say that i'm actually quite anticipating problemista because i may be somewhat of a julio girlie. also re: rwrb trailer why am i constantly boggled by the trajectory of nick galitzine's generic hollywood career he's literally like if you injected justice smith's teen romcom range onto tom holland's situationally unaware british ass..... good 4 ha tho. the trailer looks exactly as expected and although i'm very much like not attached to this book anymore i will still be watching because why not!
also been lagging behind with tv, but highlights of this year so far have been:
β the bear s2 (β β β β Β½)
β jury duty (β β β β )
β the other two s1 & s2 (β β β β )
β abbott elementary s2 (β β β β )
i'm STILL like 2 episodes off the yellowjackets s2 finale because i keep saying i'll finish it and then simply don't. need to catch up with silo and lucky hank and the makanai and finish off trigun stampede, which i was watching at tori's behest but i am actually very much a wolfwood enjoyer so i should get back to that. i'm trying to GetTM i think you should leave and i mean i mostly do but it's also not the pinnacle of comedy that so many on twitter purport it to be... moving on ted lasso finale was simply abysmal but at least it wasn't as bad as xo kitty, which i watched the entirety of with my mom for some reason. jenny han really out there.....
i badly want a tv show to change my life in 2023 but i'm not feeling too optimistic about that π© i just don't have the attention span or commitment level for anything good anymore. legit watched 3 episodes of suits out of nowhere because of the netflix algorithm preying on my preexisting curiosity from having read several suits fics in my youth and literally a) MEGHAN MARKLE? b) ok maybe mike and harvey were kind of gay c) what the fuck was this show even doing for 9 whole seasons..........
music/k-pop
ok first of all WHAT WAS HE COOKING!!!
anyway moving on. the most distressing part of my chronic depressive funk is that my music listening habits have greatly suffered for it, and like very much on a scale previously unseen for me... i think also listening to too many hockey podcasts has disrupted my flow for new music consumption but alas... trying to course correct during the off-season but as i write this i'm just replaying super shy over and over again so maybe my ears are officially broken.
speaking of newjeans i love their sound way too much it's not even funny, like literally how does one even exist being this consistently rympilled but also i can't help it lmfaooo. new jeans mv animation execution = GAGGED. ppg album design packaging = GAGGED. erika de casier dnb production = GAGGED. they are in fact severely daughtering! i've been super out of k-pop and i don't really think that'll change much right now but i'm half-tempted to buy a physical copy or two of their upcoming album because it's just firing on all cylinders for me rn. i also kind of accidentally fell into watching runext and i don't know how invested i'll actually be in it since i haven't watched a survival show in a million years but i'm mildly charmed by a few of the trainees so i'll try to tune in. by mildly charmed i mean that i unintentionally discovered chanelle moon severe dykeface and was like girl u live like this? and then the first episode was promoted to me live on youtube while i had insomnia and i enjoyed me a bit of bad boy jeongeun so i guess i might follow some of the performances going forward.
hopefully i will do a better job of listening to 2023 releases soon... just need to commit to a bit of spotify reorganization x__x
books
i read so many terrible hockey romance books earlier this year it just pissed me off but i'm pretty sure i finally got it out of my system. it was definitely looking rough there for a second though.......
anyway i dabbled in a bit of mary h.k. choi with yolk and i really don't think i'd like a single one of her other books but this was not bad. read alison cochrun kiss her once for me in like one hour flat at the airport and it irked me immensely lmfao i think romcom-y new adult lesbian fiction is simply not for me. i'm trying to get through you exist too much and our wives under the sea now and neither of them is particularly long so that should be done with soon, i quite like the writing style for both and i'm also mildly relieved to be reading stuff that isn't ehmmm unexpected check please fanfiction LOL.
also i finally read the whole beartown trilogy and π΅βπ« even though his prose is fairly simple and repetitive he's a very effective writer and i simply hate being the most predictable person alive, AKA how dare fredrik backman craft benji ovich in my general vicinity like it's nothing. i am so woefully susceptible to this exact character archetype of reflexively sacrificial repressed gay loner with self-destructive judgment and shitty taste what am i even meant to DO. lichrally top 5 character of the life... UGHHHHH.
basically got overwhelmed by how many books i plan on reading so this is the general lay of the land going forward lolol. i keep hitting my incredibly low yearly goal in 5-book increments so now i've bumped it up to 15... but i think that unofficially i'd like to get to 20 if possible.
~making stuff~
the reality is that i really just don't do anything anymore which is kind of because of Real Life but also because i'm... bad at things and i've made peace with that and don't (actionably) care about it anymore? maybe that's too defeatist of me but i don't even know. i would like to have a bit of a drawing phase again because the idea of doing art in the summer is always nice but i worry that the likelihood of that happening is pretty low. alas... i'm just an empty slate of constant overwhelming brain fog!
really though i'm basically like π΅βπ« just trying to get through life, which means i seriously don't know what's happening on the internet anymore..... maybe that's what summer is meant for (not knowing what da hell is going on), but i just feel very tired and slow all the time t__t i worry that following fandom in any capacity is exhausting to me right now but i'll probably be fine come fall so i guess we'll see.
in like... may? i wrote a silly little 6k hockey fic for my team's Beloved Rook, which i later privated because i was like Well this is dumb as hell and very stupid and bad, but then i unprivated it because it all felt needlessly dramatic lol. i mean it still is all of those things but also who cares! an exercise in rookie protagisms and earnestly nerd-coded team dynamix can still be fulfilling at the end of the day, and i had fun balancing tydel as a ~romantic interest~ in the context of wj53's Hot Girl Rookie Postseason Spring. does it make any sense??? no but it's fine.
some highlights......... anyway i'm just like arghhh because i want to finish one more fic and then be done with writing for a long long time, but i've been stuck on this same document for an ungodly amount of time that it kind of feels like there's no point in writing it anymore. i really don't know what i'm doing... i feel like the more κΈνν moments i have the less motivated i am to finish this, but then i'm also continuously like JUST DO IT GIRLLLL. the problem is that i have already written ONE horrible hughes sibling fic and i really do not have to keep inventing interiority in these men where there is none. what on earth is she cooking... TT
it'll be fine but hopefully i can whip this doc into shape soon just so i can be free of my own demons ;__;
games
ok let me end this post here but also i am finally playing pokemon scarlet again after 6 months of forgetting any game at all exists!!! LOL.
bewuvΓ©d team... girlest of this world..... et cetera. (looks at tinkaton) it's all going to be ok
also been playing it takes two intermittently with my sister for a veryyyy long time but i think we're actually almost done with this game now, as in i'm pretty sure we're on the before-last world so π€ PROGRESS.
dw user girlrock out T__T happy 7/7 to everyone wherever you are and hope you're holding up well. sending all my love and wishing for only the best of health π
